Commonly Misused Trauma Words
- Kim May
- Oct 28
- 5 min read
The surge of research and understanding of trauma in the past few decades has been crucial in getting people connected to meaningful support. Part of developing understanding is having a common language.
Unfortunately, sometimes widespread awareness of something can create an opportunity for the language around it to become co-opted.
Trauma does not refer to the event. Trauma refers to the event AND its impact on a person, over time. If something awful happens to a person, in the weeks following they are likely to experience intense and complicated feelings and have other issues such as disturbed sleep, fatigue, etc. However, this is a normal part of the human experience of emotional processing. When those feelings and disruptions do not abate over time, that may make it more likely that a person has been traumatized by their experience.
Distress, even severe distress is not the same thing as a disorder.
Below we’ll explore 5 trauma related words and discuss how they are often misused and why it matters.
1. Traumatized
How traumatized is getting misused:
“That job interview traumatized me.”
Clinical description of trauma:
According to the American Psychological Association, “Any disturbing experience that results in significant fear, helplessness, dissociation, confusion, or other disruptive feelings intense enough to have a long-lasting negative effect on a person’s attitudes, behavior, and other aspects of functioning.” Examples of trauma: surviving a natural disaster, being raped, enduring an abusive relationship, being in war, being victimized, etc.
The difference:
A job interview may be anxiety-inducing, stressful, intimidating, but it is not the same thing as fearing for life and safety. The definition of trauma is broad enough to cover a range of experiences but should not be so broad as it starts to include things we find unsettling or unpleasant. The experience of being traumatized leads people to feel genuinely unsafe. We can help support victims of trauma by not accidentally diluting the word.
2. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
How PTSD is getting misused:
“Standing in line for barbecue gave me PTSD.”
Clinical description of PTSD:
(According to the DSM–IV–TR) a disorder that may result when an individual lives through or witnesses an event in which they believe that there is a threat to life or physical integrity and safety and experiences fear, terror, or helplessness.
The symptoms are characterized by
(a) reexperiencing the trauma in painful recollections, flashbacks, or recurrent dreams or nightmares;
(b) avoidance of activities or places that recall the traumatic event, as well as diminished responsiveness (emotional anesthesia or numbing), with disinterest in significant activities and with feelings of detachment and estrangement from others; and
(c) chronic physiological arousal, leading to such symptoms as an exaggerated startle response, disturbed sleep, difficulty in concentrating or remembering, and guilt about surviving the trauma when others did not.
The difference:
Many things give us strong emotional reactions, and we are often struck at times by intense negative memories. However, that is part of the human experience and not the same thing as being diagnosed with PTSD.
Using PTSD as hyperbole is disrespectful to the people who are struggling to live their lives while managing the intense symptoms of PTSD. It also creates confusion around the diagnosis. It’s also important to note that having experienced a trauma does not automatically mean a person will meet criteria for a PTSD diagnosis.
3. Trauma bonding
How trauma bonding is getting misused:
“We totally trauma bonded at work.”
Clinical Description of trauma bonding:
The term was developed by Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D., the founder of the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP), in 1997. Carnes described trauma bonding as bond that is formed between an abuser and a non-abuser which creates a dysfunctional attachment style.
A more extreme version of trauma bonding is Stockholm Syndrome.
The difference:
Bonding over a similar trauma or having a shared stressful experience can indeed form a bond. However, being trauma bonded means that someone has been victimized, often for long periods of time.
4. Trauma dumping
How trauma dumping is getting misused:
“I trauma-dumped on Rick all night talking about my break-up.”
Clinical Description of trauma dumping:
The act of unloading detailed accounts of traumatic experiences on someone without warning or consideration for their emotional well-being. It can be excessive and unsolicited. Often the recipient may feel drained or put out; in extreme circumstances and depending on the topic, it may lead to secondary or vicarious trauma.
With trauma dumping, a person has a lengthy, one-sided conversation with someone in which they share intense, highly detailed (sometimes graphic) accounts of a traumatic experience. It is typically out of context and inappropriate for the relationship and completely unsolicited. For example, casual work colleagues meet for coffee, and one goes into explicit detail about when they were sexually abused as a child.
The difference:
Venting and sharing stories can be an important part of any relationship. However, trauma dumping typically involves not considering the boundaries of the listener, nor the context of the relationship.
5. Triggered
How triggered is getting misused:
“I was triggered when I saw my ex out with his new girlfriend.”
Clinical Description of being triggered:
From a mental health perspective, being triggered refers to the intense emotional distress you may feel suddenly when you’re faced with something that reminds you of a past traumatic experience.
When we are triggered, it can cause us to react as if the traumatic event were occurring in the present. This may cause an emotional and/or psychological reaction before the person is even aware of why they are upset. Examples might include a smell that reminds them of their rapist or fireworks that sound like gunshots when their life was in danger.
With regards to substance use, it is also be used to describe intense desires to use brought on by something that reminds the person of their use, such as seeing foil and being reminded of smoking heroin or seeing someone drink a beer in a commercial.
The difference:
Saying we are triggered has become part of our lexicon. It has become a way to express feeling offended. However, in using it so widely, the word has lost important meaning. When a person is truly triggered, their body often has an intense reaction, like a panic attack or flashback. Trigger warnings in media were intended to give a heads up about potentially disturbing content for trauma survivors. When we use the word triggered about the long line in the coffee shop, we undermine the importance of the word.
Most of us, me included, are guilty of occasionally misusing a word or using a word too casually without understanding the potential implications. Survivors of trauma deserve to not have their experiences and diagnoses co-opted by pop culture speak. Our words matter.
If your experiences have led to seek comfort in drugs and alcohol and you need support, Substance Use Therapy is here. Whatever you are facing, you don’t have to face it alone.
Sources:
https://www.thehotline.org/resources/trauma-bonds-what-are-they-and-how-can-we-overcome-them/
https://health.osu.edu/health/mental-health/what-does-it-mean-to-be-triggered
American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.)
About the Author:
Kimberly May, LPC-S, LMFT is the founder of Substance Use Therapy in Austin, TX. Kimberly works with individuals, couples, and families whose lives have been impacted by substance use. By utilizing a harm reduction framework, Kimberly works effectively with people wherever they are on the continuum of use. Contact today to schedule a no-charge, 30-minute consultation.
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